The Ballad of The Bush Leagues

Part 4, Let's Roll!

Dubya Dubya ev'ry day,
First thing he does in the morning,
Assesses the threat of being hit
From his Fabulous Office of Glory.

It keeps him sharp, strengthens his heart,
Maintains his terrorist focus.
Somehow, he still finds the time to
Make sure his campaign weren't bogus.

He'd promised to fix our ailing schools
When he ran for president.
Now, he's got the chance to learn 'em
Good on different continents.

"Here at home we must ensure
No child gets left behind.
In Afghanistan we've got a chance to
Free the womens' minds."

Sure enough, he puts to vote
An education bill.
With ease it passes, buoyed by
The People and its will.

"Reading's the new civil right
Without it we can have no might.
Black or brown or white or beige
You've got to turn the written page.

"Our teachers must be qualified;
This bill will check the facts.
The bigotry of soft expectations
Will be challenged, count on that."

It happened fast and I'm not sure what
Changes this bill might bring...
Maybe we'll all go to Yale
And wear a classy ring!

No, I'm feeling pretty good about
The brand-new schoolin' standards.
Now I can refocus on the
Threats to this blessed land of ours:

America's defenders keep at
Work through winter's end;
Cheney burrows underground, though
Sleep won't be his friend.

Condoleeza plays the pleaser,
Gains new prominence;
She's difficult to figure out and
Keeps us on the fence.

Junior takes a crafty turn toward
Selling freer trade;
Promotes subordination to a
Lifestyle that's pre-made.

He visits Asia and Peru,
Ignores a Venezuelan coup,
Tells them all, "This Bud's for you!"
In the name of a brand he calls Freedom.

"When they hit us with the terror attacks
They thought we'd just file a lawsuit (heh heh...)
Boy, were they wrong: our arm is real long–
For justice there can be no curfew.

"If you're with us, we're on the attack
We'll help you with the things you lack
Here's a little somethin' you can never pay back
Now let's talk some privatization!"

It's a good thing he won't stop his pursuit
For affairs are increasingly hirsute.
Kashmir's up for grabs and Israel's mad,
Meanwhile, at home the economy's bad.

But Dubya keeps stiff upper lippin
As he travels the U.S. of A.
Talks of "Good" that will come from the "Evil"
In our brand new historical age.

He lobbies for a Department
Of Homeland Security.
In August it reeked of Big Guvment,
Now it's his favorite plea:

"I call upon the Congress:
Think not about your turf.
We must get enterprisin' on
Protectin' our net worth.

"Who's coming who's going and when are they leaving?
It's a shadowy web Al Qaeda is weaving.
To survive we'll need new bureaucracy that
Puts me in charge of security!

"Of course, I'll need flexibility to
Circumvent the unions,
Suspend the workers' rights so I
Retain the power to move them.

"No, I respect their collective bargain
But I don't have time for their slowdown jargon
Every President since J.F.K. has
Had this right: Give me my way!"

Junior's blust'ry, indignant style
May not seem too presidential.
Nevertheless it frequently works;
Breaks down the will of people it irks.

He nags away and never forgets
The issues that burn up the hair on his chest.
The death tax is one such chafing concern:
Repealed for now, in 10 years it returns.

Though paid by less than two percent
Of the taxpaying population,
Dubya stands on principal 'gainst this
Threat to our high-rent nation.

After all, if 41 can't keep
43 all cushy, the
Next generation might not have
A president who's Bushy.