The Ballad of The Bush Leagues

Part 7, 2003

A new year is here, 2003
The Millenium no longer a novelty.
Y2K we feared, '01 still felt weird,
Last year we didn't know what would appear

For, "Oceans no longer protect us,"
President history buffer.
"Threats to our freedom could strike any time
We can't just sit back while the terror aligns!"

Despite such excitement and fear
I can't seem to get back in gear.
Has my ballad of family ruling
Reduced me to snoring and drooling?

No... well, maybe, but no excuses
Got to play through the pain and run like The Juice -
Write down what happens, translate Junior's yappin'...
This thing writes itself!

Like me, 43 summons New Year's resolve
To be more proactive, get more involved,
Make us all safe and freedom ensure:
An ounce of prevention the world will cure

"If you'll only take your medicine
We'll write the prescription for a dose of win
A pill or tonic should go down easy
But if those make your stomach queasy,

"Dissolve these tablets plop plop fizz
In relief of debt, they're the shiz.
Our final option we don't recommend:
It's administered with a forceful bend."

George appeals to the world with these
Threats masked as protection
Entreating countries one and all to,
"Join a coalition of the

Willing for killing–
I mean for liberation...
Now the Secret'ry of State will
Extend solicitation."

Powell is sent to sell the world on
Pre-emptive engagement,
"Bomb Sadaam because we think
It's too late for containment."

They seem to respond to the soft-spoken general
Who seems like a man to be trusted.
He's been there before, doesn't want war
Though it's clear his sword hasn't rusted.

His good cop act takes the lead
Persuading United Nations to heed,
While Tony Blair takes one last chance
To justify his sycophance.

Stateside 43 doth see
Matters of his own country
Seep through the cracks of Project Iraq;
It's jaundiced a touch, the good ol' greenback.

Unemployment keeps increasing,
The Treasury Secret'ry is overweening,
The Majority Leader won't stop speaking
'bout the way things used to be

"Got to fix the domestics,
Tweak things a little bit.
My textbook says, 'Consumers Rule!'
Give them their money, watch em go out and

"Look for a good or a service.
Producers will meet the demands.
Stuff gets made, workers get paid,
That's how it goes in the US of A."

On the edge of a panic some simple relief
From our highly deductive Commander in Chief
"Give 'em their money, let em go nuts
So I can promote my Sadaam scuttlebutt.

"And Paul O'Neil, I love your loose lips
But since you took that Africa trip
With Bono it's hard to cover your back.
Sorry, I've got to give you the ax."

And lest you suspect he's just putting on airs
With his sudden attention to homeland affairs
He proposes to stop taxing dividends,
A capital bow for his tied up loose ends

"The Dividend tax is a double whammy
It hurts the profits and your granny
Who already lives on thin margins
And must always shop for the bargains."

A brilliant linkage,
The old and the gold.
Who knows where it came from
But fuck it, I'm sold!