The Ballad of The Bush Leagues

Part 12, Say Aahhhh!

I wonder what Dubya is thinkin'
'bout Arnie his fellow Republican?
While the race was on he stayed away;
Now that it's won will he ask him to play?

"Arnie, I'm glad he won,
Put the GOP back in Sacramento.
But he put me in a bind...
I don't know what to think of his kind.

"He seems popular, could get out the vote
Still, I don't know about his values.
Will the heartland approve my connection
To this Hollywood guy with a constant erection?"

Decisions, decisions, though Junior likes
to make 'em,
This one goes on the back burner.
The holidays are coming: time to sign a
Couple of bills then it's happy ranch time!

Partial birth abortion ban gets the pen
"We're building a culture of life.
A wartime supplemental? I'll sign that too
Our boys should be well fed when they die for you.

"Speaking of the boys I need to pay them a visit.
Thanksgiving is coming up.
Karl, right after I pardon the turkey
I want Air Force One fired up."

He grants the gobbler reprieve
Then suddenly takes his leave
Of the gaggling press who become quite distressed:
What's 43 got up his sleeve?

He fakes a move to the ranch
Then covertly extends the executive branch
To the Baghdad airport for dinner with the troops-
Goddamn that's a hell of a PR move!

I wonder if he'll stick around to
Survey the city he's bombed to the ground?
Get a little hands-on experience? Teach the
Freedom-lovin' Iraqis the Pledge of Allegiance?

"I hate to eat and run--
Barely had a chance to eat my dinner bun--
But I've got to sign a Medicare bill,
Make sure your grandmas can afford their pills."

A cheer goes up as Junior takes flight
He made their day, it seems.
"Those boys really give me a charge.
Reminds me of my days in the National Guard

"When I'd just show up every once in a while,
Spread goodwill, share some smiles and
Take great pride in the military
Without doing anything too scary."

Filled with memories of his halcyon days
George does manage to fend off the glaze
That threatens to dull his eyes
When he faces details and compromise.

Both loom large in the heated debate
Over pharmaceutical payment:
Who will fund the drugs required to
Care for our aging nation's ailments?

Manufacturers won't cut their prices,
Seniors are poor not to mention entitled,
A single-payer system is widely derided as
Socialist HilaryCare.

So if markets unspoiled and free
Leave us struggling to pay for increased
life expectancy,
What can we do to take charge?
Put it on the card!

"If you're under Medicare, check your mail.
Help is on the way.
This little card you can put in your wallet
Is here to save the day.

"It keeps you thrifty 'til 2006
When we fire up the drug benefit to
Supplement your purchases
Up to a couple of thou'.

"Then you pay in full
Until you're catastrophic
I don't fully understand it yet but
Eli Lilly gave me this great pen!"

That's alright Mr. President,
You don't have to explain.
You promised to modernize Medicare
And... Capture Sadaam Hussein?!

I can't believe it! I'm watchin' the news,
Sufferin' a touch of the terrorism blues
Then what do you know? Out of a hole
Comes fugitive Sadaam and he looks like hell!

He needs a shave, his tonsils are swollen,
No longer does he enjoy gains ill gotten.
"We've captured the tyrant who threatened you
In ways you never ever knew."

I didn't know but I trusted;
That evildoer had to be busted.
"The lessons of 9/11 are clear:
Always strike first against what you might fear.

"And disregard the facts;
They just don't tell the story.
The doctrine is clear, that's all you need hear,
The rest is just too darn gory."