The Ballad of The Bush Leagues

Part 10, Loosening Up

In the eye of the storm Junior sits at his desk.
He finds comfort behind the HMS,
Rests his palms on the wood and channels
the wisdom
Of the presidents who sat behind it before him...

“Reagan, Kennedy and Rutherford B.,
I ask to receive your guidance.
I’ve led without fear for nearly 3 years
And I’m fixin’ to take down more tyrants.

“No, I like living here
In this rent-free people’s house.
Do you have any wisdom to lend to my head?
No question I’ve got much more
freedom to spread.”

He closes his eyes and the desk starts a creakin’,
Manifest president spirits start speakin
To awestruck 43.
Listen to what they told he:

“The first time you won a minority.
That only works once,” says Rutherford B.
Adds Kennedy, “Come November 23 you’ll
Already have outlasted me.

“But if I were you I’d raise some cash,
Build a big war chest.“
Says Reagan, “Money, that should work...
I’ve forgotten all the rest.“

The Oval Oracles, having spoken,
Vanish into thin air.
Dubya takes his hands from the desk
And hits the funding trail...

“The political season will come soon enough.
Right now I’ve got a job to do;
I’m focused on the people’s business-
Job creation, the homeland, what have you.

“Nevertheless, I need your support and I’m
Hoping you fill my cup.
Man the grass roots, get the signs out,
Cuz I’m just loosening up!”

Loosening, too, are the pocketbooks of
Wealthy Republican donors.
It’s October – he’s done raised 70 mil,
The man once best known for his boners!

“When I came into office the country was stuck
In the midst of a deep recession.
I cut your taxes to fix all that
But then we had the terror attacks.

“On top of that, corporate scandals
Violated our trust.
Some fudged the numbers and shattered our faith
So I gave them the bust!

“Faith was restored but the March to War
Flashed on the TV screens.
Things felt wrong, we couldn’t be strong
We were kind of just bumpin’ and oochin’ along.

“I was still optimistic but I had to act,
No, I gave the people more money back
So they could buy houses, take shopping sprees,
Join the ownership society

“And of course have a little left for me
To campaign as your favorite Commander-In-Chief.
I’ll protect your freedom and still have time to
Leave no single child behind,

“Modernize Medicare, prescription drugs and
Stop buying energy from thugs.
Let me appoint a Christian judge and
Fund lots of faith-based programs.

“No, the strength of America isn’t our wealth
Or the might of the world’s best milit’ry.
It’s the spirit that says, ‘Love your neighbor
As you’d like to be loved yourself’”